It’s my birthday today.
There were a lot of things I wanted to write about this week, but I’ve been keeping my head down and moving ahead one foot at a time. I’ve bumped into a lot of old friends from San Francisco all of a sudden, which is trippy, like they’ve been waiting all this time to just pop back into my life.
I went into the studio this weekend, had a blast, got a song worked on that I didn’t think was going anywhere and now is working well. The song’s called Awkward, and I love the lyrics, but the guitar was too busy. Writing by yourself and then working with other musicians is always a trip, because you often have to par back what you were doing by yourself to fill up the space in order to better let the other instruments complement. Believe it or not, it’s much harder to be sparse in a song than it is to be busy.
Here’s a rough mix of the song:
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Another welcome surprise from my husband was a gift of stuffed Domo (you may not know how much I adore this little Domo guy, and you may not want to know, but I do) and a mini 2-watt Fender Greta tube amp, which I’m actually going to exchange for the Vox AC4 4 Watt tube amp I’ve been dying to purchase since I found it at Portland Trading Company in Portland.
Perfect amp for solo gigs!
I got my tattoo worked on this Sunday, to take my mind off the drama going on. Got a bonus finger tattoo I’m stoked about.
Perfect tattoo for someone who works at a library, as long as I don’t actually use it to shush the patrons!
Peripheral stuff, right? But I’m happy if it’s all about me in a fun way right now, because there’s so much heaviness I’m going through right now with the separation emotions and having to find a place to live and figure out how we’re going to work the car situation and basically how to survive in the Bay Area on a part-time and freelance income, which at this point seems to be asking a lot. Even storage spaces are expensive. One day at a time. One day at a time, it will all work out even if it seems like it couldn’t possibly work out. Hell, if I got through benzo withdrawal and gluten allergies I can get through anything in the whole world.
I said I was going to talk about the insanity of the artist mind, and I will…later. For now, Happy Birthday to me. 31 years old. My life feels like it’s already been lived but it’s just beginning. Here’s to the next few years bringing me all I’ve ever hoped and dreamed for in my writing and music. Here’s to hoping I won’t give up, that I’ll give it my all and trust that I can see these things out to their ultimate potential. I don’t know why music and writing are so important to me, or why they’ve brought me back to life, only that I fear ever losing them again so I’m giving them both all I’ve got. Starting tomorrow.
My sister is an artist, and asked me what I wanted drawn for my birthday. Casually, I said, “A Bunny or a Domo.”
Yes, A big Happy Birthday to You! And, you’re right, your life is just beginning, in years, at least. Lots of people don’t even discover their real life’s passion till they’re in their 40′s or 50′s–if ever! And, many people your age haven’t really ‘lived’ enough to have anything very interesting, unique, or profound to talk about, much less share with people they don’t know.
You’re on your way, and remember ‘hard times’ is your ‘material’! What would you be singing about if you grew up in Pacific Heights, or Montclair?
A big hug, Mike
haha Mike! Touche!
Happy Birthday!!! You are on your way! Ahhh, youth!!! So glad you aren’t waiting to speak your mind & make the choices that YOU want for your life! Shows real maturity!!! Keep your head up & decide to be happy!!! Love you!
Happy Birthday!. When I was fresh out of art school at 21, I had the technical ability, but nothing unique to say.That would come years later. The trick to art is to have something that only you know, plus having the technical chops to back it up. Sounds like you have both!
Happy Birthday! A very busy week. Love the song and can’t wait until you have a demo / first cd !
Happy Birthday! Aren’t you glad you’ve made it this far in life? Before 30′s, life is full of directions, pushing and pulling,left and right,and,up and down. Almost everything you experience ended up with some sorts of drama and frustration,making you want to scream so hard and loud in the sky like thunders before the lightening strike. Everyone goes through that shitty life experience.
After 30′s, you begin to steer your own direction in life with some wisdom and knowledge. You will start to feel more confident and trust your own decision making process about everything that you do. Love,romance and sex got some booster of confidence as well believe it or not.:-) It is the self-confidence that will drive you to make things happen in your life.The best and the greatest things in your life are still ahead of you. You go and get what you want and keep what you want,and that is a happy life experience.That is the music of life!
Thanks Tom, great comments!
Happy belated birthday ! best wishes for you on your special day. Lovin your blogs and I can relate to them in many ways, that’s great that you are taking each day as it comes, I have gone through many of the things/situations you have gone through and I can tell you one thing that someone told me, it helped a lot, take each day as it comes and do one thing whether big or small that brings a smile to your face.
Thank you…Nikki, right? Thanks for your comment, it really helps to be hearing so much from people who have been through this and
know how hard it can be!! One day at a time and doing something fun every day is right on, that’s what’s getting me through. Thank you
for reading!
I am still learning this site, just now realized you got back to my comment, lol. Yep, Nikki is right. Yeah I know what you mean it helps when you know you aren’t alone in what you are feeling. I was married for 5 yrs, had a conventional life and lost it all myself. I can relate to your post about the gypsies, I have always fought the urge to travel around and have a hard time finding a place to call home. I think I have moved 8 times in the last ten years, haha! In fact it was nice to read your blog and know that you felt the same way. How is the music coming along ?
The music is going, slowly but surely. I’m building a strong core of songs that I hope to work with additional musicians on in the near future, some bluesy, dark, soulful tunes I’m particularly proud of. Thanks for asking!