Tag Archives: unemployment

What is Your Theme?

I’m always trying to decide what exactly I’m writing about here at the Stifled Artist. Looking at my history of tags it would seem that I am covering life, the universe and everything in the galaxy I should happen to stumble across. I rant about society, high-fructose corn syrup, and trying to do what you love and make enough money on the side at the same time without going crazy. I cover the economic crises, job tips for the creative unemployed worker and post random books reviews and video clips. I comment on social media, the long tail, and the dip as well as any other random marketing-type developments that might affect the careers of the young, aimless and talented. Sometimes I go on a tangent about my artistic relatives, what it’s like to live in the house my grandfather built, or just how beautiful the Bay Area is. The unifying theme seems to be life as an art project of observation laced with a sardonic sense of irony and humor.

All in all, I would say that I may have been stifled when I began this blog, but I have now reached overwhelmed. I am overwhelmed by topics, insights, and parallels. A lot of times I have great ideas I let fall into the gutter because I’m so rife with the hubbub of every day life I fantasize (albeit briefly) about someone paying my overhead in exchange for forty hours a week of my time.

The truth is, now that I’ve been working for myself on and off for the last eleven years of my life, I’m not sure I CAN work for “the man”, whoever that is. My father always told me that time is equal to money, and I value my meandering time. When I’ve strategically under worked through out the week I have to remind myself that I did it on purpose because I wanted to do more interesting things besides just earn money, and that no one is barking at me to pick up the pace. Things will accumulate on their own. They already have. Focus on entering into one door and it will undoubtedly lead to another. I call this serendipitous employment. (Not to say I don’t work hard in many bursts of effort).

I won’t be surprised if I’ve succeeded in supporting my dreams even further come next year. We’re either completely hemmed in by the drudgery of it all or ecstatic about the trippy way everything just seems to work out when you’re on the right path (eventually).

Sometimes thing don’t happen in a linear pattern. And a lot of times forcing things just makes everything worse all around. Do what you love…and accept that you won’t be rich. That’s my philosophy. Your dreams are your own, and no one can tell you not to go after them. No one can tell you you’re wrong, that you don’t have the knack, or that you need to do something better with your time. And the last thing I want to do with this short funny life is spend it sitting at a desk doing repetitive tasks. Not my bag baby. Not my bag.

This blog reflects my life’s themes and how they all weave together. What I find interesting in the world. How it all filters through my own crazy creative lens. What’s your theme?

Lemonade Film…

I’ve been wanting to watch this film for quite some time but didn’t have the money to buy it (even though it is only $10 measly!). The filmmakers updated their Facebook page today. Turns out the movie is streaming for free on Hulu until August 31.

It is basically a short film about some guys and gals in advertising (high earners) who got laid off and how they decided to turn this negative event into a positive event. What they chose to do with their new free time runs the gamut from filmmaker to coffee bean roaster and is inspiring.

Now, I don’t know if this is just another example of people who have money in the bank being able to follow their dreams, but I do believe life gives you plenty of opportunities to do what you love. Not everyone has something they feel they were born to do, but if you do, why not use this down time (if you’ve been laid off) to pursue being that stay-at-home dad or prodigy guitarist. This is your life. Do with it what you will.

I Have Too Much To Be Grateful For It…

Gratitude is a funny word. When I think of gratitude, I think of making gratitude lists, a habit I picked up in programs I went to. But gratitude is about a lot more than just making lists.

An acquaintance of mine went on a retreat with a swami and the theme of the whole venture was “if you have gratitude, you have everything.”

I spend a lot of my time thinking about what I do not have. I worry about not having a job. I don’t know what I want to do with my life, or what exactly makes it meaningful. I’m really impatient with myself and what I’m doing with my time.

So many people have said that I’m so lucky to have all this free time, a place to live rent-free, and unemployment coming in.

I am grateful for these things.

There’s some strange universal law though that says if you have too much free time, it seems like you have no time. When I’m doing all sorts of stuff, I seem to have more time to do more stuff.

I compare myself to other writers and musicians, thinking about what THEY would be doing if they had as much time as I have. Oh, they would be writing non-stop. They wouldn’t be sad or lazy. They wouldn’t waste time cleaning the house or running errands or seeing movies. They’d be like monks for writing. Non-stop writing, they wouldn’t even take time to eat.

Who are these people? Certainly not me. I don’t write because it’s mandated that I write. I don’t play music because somebody told me I have to do it.

So being my own drill sergeant isn’t going to work, because when someone, even me, tells me I HAVE to do something, or else, I usually flip them the bird.

Maybe gratitude can help with the creative block too.

Sitting down every day and actually writing would help too. Hmm.

What to Do When Unemployed

I found this imminently pleasing: quit a lot of things in order to find your passion.

Life is about living, and I’ve spent too much of this last month paralyzed by my fear of making mistakes. Sometimes, like blogger Penelope Trunk, of Brazen Careerist states, you just have to do something, anything. Because essentially, if you freeze, nothing gets done.

Sometimes, like a tarot card reading for my husband recently said, “When you are ready, the master will appear.”

You have to wait until inspiration comes, but you have to do something, anything, in between.

If you’re paralyzed by which social group to get involved in, which job to look for, which charity to volunteer for, pick something. It’s a starting point. You can back out and try again if it fails.

Read blogs. Reach out to other people. Find mentors, and write to them. Don’t expect a response, the people who you want to mentor you are probably busy, but be grateful when you do get one. The person you admire who has time to respond to your inquiry is doing themselves a favor as well by answering. Any mentor knows that they need to teach in order to learn, as well as anybody else.

Who can you help? Look around you. You may think you isolated, on some type of barren straight, but you probably have some family, a sprinkling of friends, some old coworkers and high school or college buddies you still keep in touch with.  Lean on these people for support, or help them out to get yourself out of your rut. Schedule coffee dates to meet up with them.

Don’t focus on things you’ve lost. There’s a time to reflect, a time to mourn, but there’s also a time to move on. Some say a week, some say a month.  Sometimes it takes much, much longer: It’s really up to you.

What makes you happy? Build your life based on the interests and engagements you choose.

Read the Desiderata.

Read Sermon on the Mount. The Bible. The Koran. Buddhist or Tao literature. Whatever gives you spiritual strength. When you’re searching for the right way, you can’t rely completely on yourself. Man is not an island. Neither is she/he an igloo. Although sometimes we are all full of penguins.

Loafing tends to lead to more loafing. Get out and do something you want to do. Never mind whether it’s going to “lead somewhere” or is “the right step”. You never know what can happen in your day. Just get out of the house.

Sometimes that’s the most you can do.

Be creative. Make a list of things you can do outside of the house. Hike. Read a book in a coffee shop. Visit the library. Visit an old friend or family. Bake for a homeless person. Visit a town you’re unfamiliar with. Go to a bookstore, while they still exist, and plop yourself down in front of the magazine/literary section. Poke through stories and comics for a while.

What did you used to do in your free time as a kid, before all the “job” responsibilities and stresses got to you? Garden? Sweep leaves for a couple bucks? Clean out the fridge? Collect 30 books from the library and scour them in a week? Indulge in a new genre?

There are plenty of things to do when you’re not employed, and plenty of things besides sitting at the desk day after day, baggy-eyed and depressed, shooting off resumes and cover letters to jobs hundreds of other people are stabbing at the same time, jobs someone probably gave to their nephew before they even got around to posting it on craigslist.

Networking doesn’t have to be a chore. Friends of friends, friends of family, who knows what you have in your own six degrees of separation. Besides, what you do for a living is not necessarily what makes you happy. Who you are, and your attitude, make you happy. And if you’re happy, and see the world as full of opportunity, despite those angry or depressed moments you do inevitably have to live through, you’re more likely to end up somewhere you want to be in the future.

So much of where we are is a place we put ourselves through our own inhibition and lack of faith. We get stuck, we rely too much on what other people think, we get stuck in a routine and cater to boredom and lack of desire.

Sometimes it takes just a little seed of hope, some tiny iota of time spent on something you enjoy but fear you’ll never succeed at, to grow it into something you couldn’t imagine spending your time without.

Now that I’ve written out this advice to myself, I think I’ll swallow it like a good soldier.

Hold on. We are Trying to Establish a Connection…

Connection failed. Let’s try to reconnect. Hold please.
Connection failed. Hold Please.
connection
fail
ed
hold.on.

No updates from the stifled artist because the connection has failed. She has been put on hold. Found useless. Sent in for repair.

There is no place in the world that is at peace, at least, according to her last reports.

When we tried to reach her for comment, she alternated between screaming at us and sobbing hysterics, at least we think that was her.

We found the broken glass outside her window, the Writer’s Market 2008, sodden from the rain.

A note, presumably from her pocket read, “ran into another former coworker today. said she missed me. it was nice to see her, but at the same time I hate to be reminded of yet another group to which I could not assimilate. I resign. From resigning.”

We can only speculate from the facts at the scene, when we gave up on trying to speak with her in person, told her we missed her blog posts, left messages taped on her door.

“You’re all just me in a parallel universe telling me you appreciate me. What the hell does that mean to me now, here, in this universe. go the hell back to your own respective parallel whatever place your from and leave me alone”, she psychically screeched at us, jolting us all, effectively, at the same moment.

We’re a little shocked, but think she may be right. Maybe only reincarnations of herself could put through with such blatantly uncommunicative behavior. With all due respect, her former coworkers forgot she existed and refuse to comment when we ask questions. She shouldn’t have a phone, I mean, it never rings, really.

But now, we feel we’re being too judgemental. We can only make up tales because she, herself, has left the premises of her own judgement, and has cast herself off into an abyss somewhere that something very miraculous would have to happen to penetrate.

So, we’ll hope for that something miraculous, like, maybe the recession will recede, the depression will depress, and money will start falling from the sky. Perhaps she’ll meet people who will barter, skill for skill, and money will become irrelevant. Best-case scenario would be Iowa City. Why? Because some writer she read once is a creative writing professor there, so it must be possible somewhere, and why not Iowa?

Perhaps the death and the firings and the job after job and the lack of future security has beset upon her like the famines of Job in the Bible? We would hope she wouldn’t be so dramatic, but she does tend to get into these “states” as we like to call them.

So, for now, the stifled artist has left the building, and we are carrying on in her stead. Perhaps we are just one last atom, the one last that is left of her morale, that carries on, even in her absence.

We’ll let you know if she decides she wants to come back, if she dies an untimely death, or…if she ever gets over her cold.